Sunday, 10 February 2013

Chapter 7: Tujhe Sochta Hoon


No matter how hard they tried they just couldn’t. Their memories of one another kept haunting them not letting them be set free from each other. How could two people that loved each other more than their lives and with all their heart ever forget each other? How could fate keep them apart? Would destiny not unite them again? Would their love survive this separation or were they just never meant to be together?
 
A month had passed that way. Neither seeing each other nor mentioning the other. Khushi didn’t go back home and instead had all her stuff shifted to her house where she was staying with Barun. Barun’s parents had come down from London two weeks ago for his engagement that was going to be held at RM. In this house with Barun and his parents was where Khushi felt like she had a family. They had just left home and were headed towards RM. They parked outside and walked towards the mansion decorated in lights. They were welcomed at the door by the Raizadas with Anjali and Arjun giving Khushi a bug hug. They welcomed them in walked them to the centre of the living room that had been emptied and decorated like a hall. Barun was standing in the centre of the crowd of people with his parents and Khushi by his side. Anjali led Avani down the staircase and to the centre of the room. Barun was awestruck by her beauty. She looked drop dead gorgeous in a grey saree decorated with black and pink flowers.
 
 
 
 
 
She was blushing as she stood next to Barun. They both exchanged rings and hugged each other. Everyone was applauding and congratulating them when they heard a voice on a mic. They turned to look at the stage everyone clearing a path so the couple and their family could see. Arnav Singh Raizada was standing on the stage in front of the keyboard, “Ladies and gentlemen I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate my sister Avani and her fiancée Barun on their engagement. I hope that you two stay together always and love each other in the future as much as you do now,” he said to Avani and Barun. Arnav moved to sit behind the keyboard. He started playing...
 


Tujhe sochta hoon main shaam-o-subha
Isse zyada tujhe aur chahoon toh kya
Tere hi khayaalon mein dooba raha
Isse zyaada tujhe aur chahoon toh kya
 
Bas saare ghum mein jaana
Sang hoon tere
Har ik mausam mein jaana
Sang hoon tere
Ab itne imtihaan bhi na le mere
Sang hoon tere
Sang hoon tere
Sang hoon tere
 
I think of you every morning and evening
How could I love you more than this
I am lost in your thoughts in all the time
How could I love you more than this
 
In every sorrow
I am with you
In every season
I am with you
Now don’t test me anymore
I am with you
I am with you
I am with you


 
 
 
 
 
 


Everyone shouted and cheered as ASR sang. Everyone was delighted to hear the rock star perform at his sister’s engagement. The couple were smiling and everyone was watching the singer entertain them but no one heard the hidden meaning in his words. He searched for her knowing she felt exactly as he did. Khushi had disappeared from the crowd and was standing on her own against one of the pillars trying to control her emotions. Arnav looked around the room for her but couldn’t find her yet his heart was beating fast. That meant that she was there.
 


Meri dhadkanon mein hi teri sadaa
Iss kadar tu meri rooh mein bas gaya
Teri yaadon se kab raha mein judaa
Waqt se pooch le waqt mera gawaah
 
Bas saare ghum mein jaana
Sang hoon tere
Har ik mausam mein jaana
Sang hoon tere
Ab itne imtihaan bhi na le mere
Sang hoon tere
Sang hoon tere
Sang hoon tere
 
You are present in my heartbeats
You are embedded in my soul to this extent
When have I been distant from your memories
Ask time, it is my witness
 
In every sorrow
I am with you
In every season
I am with you
Now don’t test me anymore
I am with you
I am with you
I am with you


 
The words of Arnav’s song sinking deep into Khushi’s soul she came out from behind the pillar and he saw her standing at the back of the crowd. She couldn’t deny that even though things had calmed down this past month she hadn’t seen him but his thoughts and memories haunted her everyday. He was all she thought about and all she saw. She was hoping not to see him here tonight but it was impossible and she knew that. She looked to the stage and saw him looking in her direction. Their eyes locked. They couldn’t see or hear anything else. In that brief moment it was just the two of them.
 


Tu mera thikaana
Meri aashiyaana
Dhale shaam jab bhi
Mere paas aana
Hai baahon mein rehna
Kahin ab na jaana
Hoon mehfoos inn mein
Bura hai zamana
 
Bas saare ghum mein jaana
Sang hoon tere
Har ik mausam mein jaana
Sang hoon tere
Ab itne imtihaan bhi na le mere
Sang hoon tere
Sang hoon tere
Sang hoon tere
 
You are my destination
My home
Whenever the sun sets
Come to me
Just stay in my arms
Don’t go anywhere
You can be safe here
The world is bad
 
In every sorrow
I am with you
In every season
I am with you
Now don’t test me anymore
I am with you
I am with you
I am with you


 

The end of the song brought them both out of their trance. And Khushi realizing what had just happened ran outside. She thought she could be alone for sometime because no one would have seen her. Barun and Avani had realized halfway into the song that Arnav was not only singing it as a dedication to them but also that ASR was trying to say something to someone through his song. Barun saw Khushi run outside and was going to go after her but was stopped by Avani. She told him to look at Arnav. Arnav had walked of the stage and was now walking towards them, “They need to do this Barun. She has to tell him. No matter how hard they try they can’t stay away from each other,” Barun nodded and turned to Arnav who had now reached them. “She’s at the back. Probably by the pool,” Barun said to Arnav.

 

Arnav jogged to the back of the house and saw Khushi sitting in a little bundle in the corner between the two walls looking at her reflection in the pool. Arnav sat down next to her. She saw his reflection next to hers but didn’t look at him. How could she when she told him she never wanted to see him again. “I tried really hard but I just couldn’t. Every time I thought I had forgotten you your memories came back to haunt me, to remind me that I can’t forget you even if I want to,” she said looking into the water. “I even tried to hate you thinking that it would help me forget but I could never hate you no matter how hard I tried and no matter what I told myself you did,” she explained. There was silence for a while and Arnav spoke, “I don’t really think I need to say anything. You know that I could never forget you. Not even in my wildest dream. You left me for six months and I still hadn’t forgotten you. Did you really think telling me to forget you will actually work?” he asked her. Khushi looked deep in thought, “Maybe. I was hoping it would but I guess it didn’t,” she said softly. ‘And how did you figure that one out?” he asked looking at her reflection for something, anything. “The song,” she replied. “That’s why I used it. I knew only you’d understand what it meant. For everyone else it was just a song,” he said with a small smile. Khushi finally turned to look at him and Arnav saw the tears that had escaped her hazel eyes. Arnav felt daggers stabbing his heart at the sight of Khushi crying. “Arnav,” she said in a broken voice Arnav wrapped Khushi in his arms and pulled her closer to him. “Don’t cry please. I can’t stand it when you cry. You must have had a reason for doing what you did. You wouldn’t just do it for nothing. I know you,” he said. Khushi sobbed, her head resting against his chest, and wrapped her arms around him hugging him. “It was best for you. It’s better that way. Maya is a better choice for you. Your mother is right Arnav. I’m bad for you and I’m bad for your career. You shouldn’t be around me,” Khushi said between sobs. “Stop it Khushi,” Arnav said pleadingly, “You know I can’t so why are you making me. I can’t love her. She’s your sister and you know I’ve always loved you and only you.” More tears fell from Khushi’s eyes hearing what Arnav was saying. “I know that. And I love you too but we just can’t be together. Not in this life. Not as long as I am who I am. It’s dangerous for you and I can’t play around with your life,” Khushi said unable to look Arnav in the eye. Arnav just hugged Khushi tighter and she did the same. They sat there in each other’s arms wishing they could stay like that forever.

 

Unbeknownst to Arnav and Khushi someone had been watching them and heard every word they had said. A tear escaped her eyes and she wiped it away with her hands. “Ma, what are you doing here?” Avani asked as she stood next to her mother who was standing on the balcony overlooking the swimming pool. Avani and Barun had both been looking for Sadhna and had searched the entire house but couldn’t find her. Avani had finally decided to check her bedroom. “Avani did you find her,” came Barun’s voice from inside the room. “Yeah, she’s here on the balcony,” Avani said looking at her mother curiously. Avani was Arnav’s best friend but when her parents had passed away the Raizadas had adopted her making her one of them. Barun came up behind them and stood next to Avani. “Ma, are you okay?” Avani asked putting a hand on her shoulder. “You were right. You all were right. I shouldn’t have done what I did,” Sadhna said looking down at the pool. “Ma,” Avani said confused. Sadhna turned to look at Avani and Barun. “Maya isn’t right for Arnav and she never will be. It was Khushi and it’ll always be Khushi,” she said to them. “But Ma, you were against the idea of them together from the start then why?” Avani asked her mother. Sadhna didn’t say anything. Instead she showed them the two figures that were sitting together, in each other’s arms, by the pool. Barun and Avani immediately understood why Sadhna had had a change of heart. “I didn’t realise he loved her that much. I thought that whatever Khushi had done then was because she wanted to ruin him but there was another reason. She loves him just as much as he loves if not more. I can’t separate them,” she said teary eyed. Avani looked at Barun and he understood what she wanted to say, “Ma there’s something you need to know,” she said as the three walked into the bedroom where there was privacy. Barun and Avani told Sadhna everything they had heard the day Yug Gupta stormed into Khushi’s house and told her to stay away from Arnav a month ago. Sadhna was shocked at what she was hearing and decided not to let this matter drag any further. “But Ma, you told Mr Gupta yourself that Arnav will get engaged to his daughter after mine was done,” Avani said to Sadhna panicking. “Don’t worry Avani,” she said, “Arnav will get engaged to his daughter next week as planned.

 

Arnav and Khushi realized that quite some time had passed since they’d been outside and people might begin to get curious. They both stood up and Khushi straightened her dress. Arnav grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face him. He pulled her towards him and she looked into his eyes. She didn’t need him to say anything because anything she needed to know she found in his eyes. She could see herself in them and no one else confirming that Arnav always thought of her and she was the only person on his mind. She wasn’t much different. Arnav was the only thing she ever thought about, the only one she missed. Arnav wiped away her tears and she threw her arms around him hugging him. “Don’t worry, we’ll find a way out of this,” he said confidently. Khushi pulled away from him and nodded before they both returned inside and joined the rest of the guests. Just then the whole Raizada family walked in with Barun and his parents in tow. Sadhna cleared her throat to get the attention of everyone in the room. “Thank you,” she said, “for being a part of this function this evening and your presence is highly appreciated. We’d also like you to attend another engagement ceremony next week. That of my son Arnav and Yug and Sheela Gupta’s daughter.” Arnav and Khushi froze at Sadhna’s words. Suddenly she had realised that it was too late for her and Arnav to find a way out. She was right. In this life they could never be together.

 

An hour later the crowd started dispersing and everyone left. Khushi had maintained a distance from Arnav since his mother had announced the engagement and Arnav didn’t like it. Once all the guests had left Barun, Khushi and his parents had also left for home. Barun could tell that Khushi was upset and knew exactly why but he didn’t say anything to her or anyone else. She needed space and he knew that so he gave it to her. Khushi was angry at the games fate was playing with her but there was nothing she could do and she just had to accept that what was going to happen was going to happen and no one could change that.

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