Sunday, 10 February 2013

Chapter 5: Mumkin Nahin


Arnav retired to his room for the rest of the night but found it difficult to sleep as he was constantly worried about Khushi.
 
Arnav hadn’t slept all night and got up early to head to the hospital. He rushed out of the house skipping breakfast and Anjali and his mother shouting after him. He got in the car and tried to reach the hospital as fast as he could. He walked to Khushi’s room and saw the bed empty. He ran down the corridors searching for Khushi and not finding her he finally returned to her room one last time hoping she would be there and there she was sitting in a wheelchair. He closed his eyes and sucked in huge gulp air. He walked to where she was sitting and kneeled in front of her, “Where did you disappear to?” he asked her. Khushi was stunned when she heard him. She didn’t think he’d come back and she was used to doing things on her own. She didn’t need him. “Arnav I told you to go yesterday then why did you come back?” she asked him jaded. “You can tell me whatever you like Khushi but I’m not leaving alone. There’s no one here to take care of you and you can’t manage by yourself,” he replied. “Yes I can. I’m perfectly okay,” Khushi said trying to stand up but realized she couldn’t when Arnav wrapped an arm around her waist to stop her from falling. “I can see just how fine you are,” he said sarcastically. Khushi opened her mouth to say something when Arnav said, “Don’t even Khushi. You can’t even stand let alone walk. How the hell are you going to take care of yourself?” he asked her furiously. “I’m taking you home and that’s that” Arnav ordered. He made Khushi sit down in the wheelchair and took her outside to where he had parked the car. He carried her from the hospital to his car despite the numerous protests.
 
Once she was buckled in and he was sitting in the driver’s seat she wanted to say something but decided to let it go. She saw him driving on the road to her house and she yelled, “Stop!” Arnav slammed the breaks letting out a “what the”. He looked at her with big eyes and she smiled at him, “Sorry,” she said apologetically, “Actually I don’t stay there when I’m alone. I have another house,” she explained. She told Arnav the address and they drove their in silence. They stopped outside the house and Arnav noticed that someone was inside and looked at Khushi questioningly. She rolled her eyes, “It’s my friend Riya. She comes to clean the house and make sure everything’s okay.” Arnav nodded and got out the car. He walked to the passenger side and by the time he got there Khushi had already opened the door and was attempting to get out. Now it was Arnav’s turn to roll his eyes, “Don’t even try,” he said while picking her up. Khushi stopped trying to put up a fight and gave in letting him carry her inside. Riya saw them coming and had opened the door for them. She gave Khushi a very sideways look before walking out and closing the door behind her. He carried her upstairs to her bedroom and helped her settle in. He was walking around trying to rearrange things to make it easier for Khushi while she was sitting on her bed watching him attentively. “Why are you doing all this?” she asked. Arnav just smiled at her and went downstairs. Half an hour later he came upstairs with lunch. “You need to eat,” he said placing the tray on her lap. It was lunch time and Khushi couldn’t deny the fact that she was starving so she quietly ate while Arnav switched on the TV and looked for something to watch. He sat on the recliner while Khushi ate and took the dishes back down to the kitchen and cleaned up.
 
The sun had set and it was dark. Arnav helped Khushi to the bathroom so she could get dressed for bed and went downstairs to pack away their dinner dishes in the dishwasher. How much Arnav was caring for her didn’t go unnoticed by Khushi. Caring for her so much after what she did to him was eating her up. She slowly walked to the bed using the wall as support and took a deep breath once she made it to the bed. Arnav was right. She wouldn’t be able to care of herself if she could barely walk. But somewhere in her heart she wanted Arnav to be there and she didn’t know why.
 


Jaanun main na jaane dil
Kya khwahish jagi hai
Kyun aankhon ko bhi kuch hua
Jaagi jaagi rehti hai
Kahan neendein gayi hai
Kya hone laga hai tu bata
 
Neither me nor my heart knows
What desire has awoken
Something has happened to my eyes
They stay awake
Don’t know where I lost my sleep
Please tell me what’s happening


 
 
Arnav came back upstairs and as soon as he saw Khushi standing next to the bed ran over to her, “Are you okay?” he asked concerned. Khushi nodded and Arnav helped her into the bed. It hurt him to see Khushi in this state where she was totally dependent on someone else and could barely do anything for herself. She was strong willed and independent. That was one of the first things Arnav had learned about her but the fact that she was so alone was something that came as a surprise. She had never let it seem that way but after that phone call in the hospital Arnav could tell. They had been together for so long and she had never let it be known to him what she went through when she wasn’t with him. He realised that’s why he had become so dependent on her. Because she used to be with him so much he had gotten used to her. That’s why he couldn’t bear it that day she walked out of his life.
 


Tere labon pe hai mili
Mere labon ko zindagi
Tere bina ab saans loon
Mere liye mumkin nahin
Mehsoos yeh hota hai
Tu mere liye hai lazmi
Saaya tera ab chod kar
Lamhe chalein mumkin nahin
Mumkin nahin
Mumkin nahin
 
My lips have found
Life in yours
To breathe without you
For me is now impossible
I feel for me
You are necessary
Without your presence
I cannot spend a moment
It’s not possible
It’s not possible


 
Khushi yanked on Arnav’s arm pulling him out of his thoughts. “Where are you lost?” she asked with raised eyebrows. Arnav shook his head and sat down on the bed, “Nowhere. I was just thinking about someone,” he said with a smile. Khushi didn’t like the look that he had on his face and could feel the possessiveness surface. “Who is she? Khushi asked seeing green. Arnav was taken aback by Khushi’s reaction and could immediately see the jealousy she was feeling at the mention of someone else. “Why are you getting so hyper? When did I see it was a girl?” he asked coolly knowing exactly what she was talking about. “Don’t play that game with me Arnav. You know very well what I’m talking about,” she said giving him daggers.
 


Mujhko chupa le tu
Khud mein kahin pe
Main bhool jaun yeh jahaan
Faasla kabhi na ho
Dil chaahe yeh hi tho
Dhadkan tere bin hai kahan
 
Please hide me
Somewhere within you
Let me forget this world
There will never be distance between us
Is what my heart wishes
Without you, my heart won’t beat


 
“Okay fine. I won’t lie. She’s someone. Someone I knew a long time ago. She’s smart, she’s independent, she’s beautiful. What else do I say about her?” Arnav asked smirking. Khushi was fuming. How could he talk about another girl like that when he claimed to love her so much? Arnav was enjoying seeing smoke emit from her ears. “Name ASR? I want a name!” Khushi said through gritted teeth. Arnav knew that when she called him ASR she was really angry and he decided not to push her any further in case it affected her health. He had to admit it was fun teasing her but not if it hurt her. Physically or emotionally.
 


Meri nazar kehne lagi
Tu saamne ho har ghadi
Bas ik tere chehre bina
Duniya meri mumkin nahin
Paaya tujhe toh hai laga
Poori hui koi kami
Tujhse judaa ab rahoon
Khwaabon mein bhi mumkin nahin
Mumkin nahin
Mumkin nahin
My eyes long for you
To always be in front of them
Without your face
My world is not possible
When I got you
Everything felt complete
For me to be apart from you
Is impossible even in my dreams
It’s not possible
It’s not possible


 
“Did I mention she is an amazing singer,” he said almost as if he was in paradise when he heard her voice, “and that I don’t think I’ll be able to live without her,” he added. Khushi flung the cushion next to her straight at Arnav hitting him on the head. Arnav let out a huff at the cushion hitting him. “Why are you getting so violent? I’ll tell you just calm down,” he said soothingly as he moved closer to her. “The world knows her as KKG but for me she’s Khushi,” Arnav whispered. Khushi didn’t know what to stay and just looked at Arnav. “She’s smart. She’s independent, she’s an amazing singer and she’s beautiful,” he said looking into her hazel eyes. Khushi felt as though she was going to melt because of the way he was looking at her. “I also can’t live without her,” he whispered in her ear then kissed her on her cheek.
 


Tere labon pe hai mili
Mere labon ko zindagi
Tere bina ab saans loon
Mere liye mumkin nahin
Mehsoos yeh hota hai
Tu mere liye hai lazmi
Saaya tera ab chod kar
Lamhe chalein mumkin nahin
Mumkin nahin
Mumkin nahin
 
My lips have found
Life in yours
To breathe without you
For me is now impossible
I feel for me
You are necessary
Without your presence
I cannot spend a moment
It’s not possible
It’s not possible


 
 
Khushi was astounded by what Arnav had just said and done. She wasn’t expecting any of that at all. He left her speechless and was now waiting for her to react. When he noticed she wasn’t reacting to anything he asked, “Khushi, are you okay?” She just nodded in reply and Arnav chuckled. He knew perfectly well what he had done. “It’s late and you need to rest,” he said getting up. Khushi finally came back to her senses and a wide smile adorned her face. Even after all this time and those bitter memories he still loved her. She was ecstatic and couldn’t control her emotions. Tears started flowing. Arnav said something and she wiped them away before he could turn around. He sat on the bed next to her and gave her medication. He tucked her into bed and gave her a goodnight kiss on her forehead. She had closed her eyes when he tucked her in and he thought she must’ve fallen asleep immediately because she was tired. He got up to move to the recliner. He decided he’d stay the night in case she woke up or needed anything. Just as he was about to walk away Khushi grabbed his wrist stopping him. Arnav turned to see Khushi still awake, “Please don’t go,” she said teary eyed.
 


Tere labon pe hai mili
Mere labon ko zindagi
Tere bina ab saans loon
Mere liye mumkin nahin
Mehsoos yeh hota hai
Tu mere liye hai lazmi
Saaya tera ab chod kar
Lamhe chalein mumkin nahin
Mumkin nahin
Mumkin nahin
 
My lips have found
Life in yours
To breathe without you
For me is now impossible
I feel for me
You are necessary
Without your presence
I cannot spend a moment
It’s not possible
It’s not possible


 

Khushi was Arnav’s only weakness other than his sister and he could he ever refuse her. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here,” he said pointing at the couch that was in her room. He tried to step forward but Khushi was holding him back and was pulling him towards her. It had been a long time since Khushi felt loved by anyone and she was craving to hold Arnav in her arms again. He had said he would be there but she wanted him next to her so she’d know for sure that he really was there with her and she wasn’t just imagining him. Arnav knew what Khushi wanted so he took off his shoes and climbed under the covers with Khushi. “Better?” he asked her. She nodded her head, “Thanks,” she said smiling at him. Khushi put rested her head on Arnav’s chest and wrapped an arm around his waist. Arnav in turn put his arms around her wrapping her in them. Khushi felt the warmth of Arnav’s arms around her and immediately felt safe and protected. Arnav stroked her hair and she fell asleep quickly. Arnav could hear her breathing and knew she fell asleep. He stopped stroking her hair. “Goodnight Khushi. I love you,” he whispered and kissed her hair. He closed his eyes and, after his sleepless night the previous day, sleep found him quickly with Khushi in his arms.

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